The rain pours as I sip my hot coffee
The bitterness that keeps me awake
And sane at the same time
The drop that hits the roof
Splash around makes the light sound
Oh how I just want to sit around
As I hold my smartphone
Watch some videos on it
And enjoy my cigarettes
Eventually I see you there
How unsightly...
Though my eyes can't avert
I keep remember
When the barricade is the only line
That stops me from jumping
Through the passing train
I keep remember Of you
Your smile, your laugh
That hold my feet firm
My mind always wanders
On this cloudy and gloomy day
My fantasy of us holding hand
And laughing our lungs off
Though I realized
That it is just a mere fantasy
Of this unsightly me
The cigarettes that I smoke
Slowly turns into ash
Just like my sanity that barely stand
On the brink of crumbling down
I wonder if I already went crazy
Because I always wish to see you smile brightly
I keep remember
The feeling of wanting to jump off
To a river when I pass a bridge
And sweep like there's no future holds
I keep remember Of you
Your cry and sadness
I don't want to be the one to bring them to you
How unsightly of me
Selfishly cling you your image
When my mind is crumbling to piece
I have gone mad, I really am
Because in the end I realized
That you're not real
And my image of us happily spend a day
Was only my delusional thought
I keep remember
The feeling of wanting
Jump on the passing train
Or on the river that I pass on
Yet I don't
Because I desperately cling on you
The fantasy of mine alone
That drives me crazy
Yet the only one keeping me sane
Keeping me live my life
On desperation
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