The Unforgiving

 

In the blank of the day

I wrapped inside a white box

Of my own world

That my mind created unconsciously

Though I don’t understand

Why such pure white room exist

Inside this dirty and filthy me

 

So I just sit there staring at nothingness

While being idle as I hear nothing but my heartbeat

This anxiety grow bigger than ever

Making my heart race yet I’ve never been this relaxed

Such contradicting

I can’t even understand this state of me any longer

 

The white that is pure looking scary

As its’ purity has always been why I’ve been I

Throwing and splashing myself with dirt

Making me dirty yet less scared

I am not pure and clean to begin with

I never was

 

In the end I can do nothing and being helpless

Staring at this pure white has becoming a torture

A hell for some dirty bumpkin kid like me

And yet as if I see the white has smiled toward me

It gave me shiver and in no time I ried to run

Yet as if someone chasing bringing nothing but warmth

But still I am scared

Of the pure white in this box like room

Of the forgiveness I don’t deserve